Sharks 1, Jets 0
December 29, 2008
I saw a performance of West Side Story at the National Theater in Washington, D.C. this weekend. About ten minutes into the show, the leading man, Tony, ran out on the stage, let out a moan, and dropped to all fours. The audience, of course, sat quietly not thinking anything was amiss. I have no idea why I say that, I had no clue what “the audience” was thinking, and my mind, as best I remember, was a total blank. The blankness was because my idea of a good time does not usually involve the words “West Side Story” or even “National Theater,” I was there because of a convoluted Christmas gift exchange.
Anyway, Tony went down, a person ran on stage from each side to check on him, and the curtain came down. The audience let out a belated “ooh,” and for the first time in my life I heard the words, “Is there a doctor in the house?” The calm, BBC-like voice from the heavens added, “If there is, please go to the back of the theater.” It seemed like much of the audience stood and started hurrying towards the back of the room. I don’t think any more people would have stood if he’d said, “Is there a government worker in the house?”
A man and woman directly in front of me got up and headed to the back. The woman’s parents were also there and the Mom told me the couple was man and wife and both were doctors, one an internist and the other a gastroenterologist. The two quickly returned saying they couldn’t get near the actor because of the crush of doctors. Maybe that’s what a group of doctors is called: a crush.
While we were waiting to find out what was going happen in Tony’s absence, I mentioned to my wife that as we had a couple of doctors sitting in front of us it would be a shame to waste an opportunity and did she have anything she wanted to ask them? While my wife cringed in embarrassment, I said, “It hurts when I do this!” The lady doctor, bless her, said, without even turning around, “Don’t do that!” The husband doctor merely glared at me.
That ended the interesting part of the proceedings although I should mention, the understudy did a wonderful job as the replacement Tony. The voice from the heavens also told us that Tony had been taken to the hospital and he was going to be OK.
